Rise and shine

Considering the seemingly random nature of bookings I receive, both in terms of the number of funerals and the cross-section of society, it never ceases to amaze me how patterns can emerge. Some months the ages are almost identical, other months it will be cause of death. This month I have led three funerals for elderly men, each of whom were never married, had no children, and all the arrangements were made by their nieces.
When you arrange a funeral service, you are dealing with both the death of someone, and the events of their life. And, sadly, that's when you see how some people's lives are anything but rosey. For one of these elderly gentlemen, having learning disabilities saw him banished by his own family to an institution at the age of nine. He was told he'd only be staying for two weeks; he was there for 50 years. Thankfully the care, love and kindness that had been missing throughout most of his life was present during his final years, thanks to a compassionate niece and the dedicated nursing staff at the care home she found for him. And this was the focus for our ceremony.
When it comes to life, we all experience the good and the bad, the dark and the light, the happy and the sad. When it comes to funerals, we have to find ways to shine a light on every life lived, even those who seem never to have emerged from the shade. It's a challenge at times – you want an honest reflection of a life but without dwelling on the sadness. But for me, the darker the life, the more determined I am to find the positives, and give them their day in the sun.